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Grocery Positioning Service

Seriously, would someone please incorporate a GPS into the shopping experience! They can even use my suggested name: Grocery Positioning Service. All you have to do is type in the item you're looking for and it tells you the aisle to find it on. If this isn't helpful enough, you can press the "locate me" button and get literal "step by step" directions. It would even tell you the shortest and fastest routes depending on geriatric shopping cart congestion. Another lovely option would be the "check out the checkouts" feature, which would give you the estimated wait time at the checkout line like you're at Disney World. Heck, maybe they could implement Fast Passes. You could pay more and go through an express lane that isn't just limited by number of grocery items.

Today I went up and down 10 aisles, from the Asian aisle (seriously, it's called that) to the Mexican aisle (again, seriously) to the soup, then the canned veggies, then the mac & cheese and finally giving up at the coffee aisle. All for a tiny 3 oz jar of pimentos. After the scavenger hunt was over, I asked for help, and the lady pointed me to the aisle I presumed all along. Except there was only one brand, they weren't pulled to the front of the shelf, and they were playing hide-and-seek with the liquefied sun-dried peppers and canned pickled pickles (they had some weird juice in their bottled can). I don't like grocery shopping in the day because of the nonagenarians, but it's only magnified when my last resort is asking an employee for help and she's as lost as I. That's a good example of why humans are being phased out.

Now I know this might not seem like a wise business investment to provide to shoppers, but I'm telling you, I'd rent one depending on how much shopping I had to do. If I'm going to be spending $200 on groceries, what's another $5 anyway for a little sanity boost. If we provide motorized carts for the old people, why not offer GPS devices to the busy people? Now it shouldn't be mandatory; I'm not going to need it when I'm zipping in on my usual ice cream run. But if my shopping excursion involves a shopping cart, I want the option for a rent-able tracking device.

Tag and bag it.

1 comment:

Chris and Rebecca Lee said...

brent, you are hilarious! the more you shop with a cart at the same grocery, you do learn where most things are. however, i recently couldn't find frozen ravioli (which i had never bought) for a new recipe and asked a worker. she skimmed the frozen section which i had already done. she proceeded to tell me they didn't carry it. then she glanced to the side and saw them tucked in a corner on the same isle and then pointed me to them. was thankful she found them, but didn't appreciate the "we don't carry them" statement because she was tired of looking or didn't want to research further. o'well. i know where they are for next time :)