I woke up this morning a little tired, but otherwise fine. I went to the bathroom to get ready and noticed a scrape on my nose. And brushing my teeth I noticed blood like I'd bitten my bottom lip. I don't remember dreaming much last night, maybe a trip to Europe or something. I rarely do remember my dreams. But it must've been intense. So intense that my dream left me bruised and bloodied. A bloody nose and lip? What in the world happened in there?
I'm sure I saved the world. Probably better than Obama would. Definitely better than Obama would.
A. Because I roll like Jack Bauer. (Though these days, all Jack's doing is resting up for a hellacious season 7 in 2009. Yes, you read that correctly. We don't get 24 until 2009. Whatever.)
B. Because Obama won't save the world. (sorry, it's true.)
If Europe was in my dream, or dreams, it's still standing. And safer now than ever before. (I could do the same for America, but President Bush is doing a wonderful job already. That allows me to save places like Europe or Russia without feeling unpatriotic in my sleep. Anyway...) Vladimir Putin (the Former Russian President and KGB big shot) can't even handle me in my sleep. Don't even get me started about real life scenarios. Suffice it to say that if I'm saving the world in my sleep, then just wait till I'm out of my REM cycle.
I know, it sounds like they may have landed a few good shots on me to scrape up my nose and bloody my lip. Thanks, Subconscious. But you should've seen what they looked like.
All this heroic talk is making me want to stop a nuclear holocaust next.
Maybe I better go take a nap.