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11.28.2006

24 Season 3: Live

Season 6 of the Tv show "24" is starting in January. I just finished Season 2. Season 5 is out on dvd this week, I think. Desperate times call for desperate measures. It's time to get caught up.

So I'm planning a "Full Season Sit Through." That's right. The whole season in ONE sitting. It's drastic, but necessary. If Jack Bauer has to do it, so do I. I'm planning on resting up, and locking myself in. Whatever "hour" Season 3 starts, I start. No calls to the outside world. No news. No internet. Just me and Jack Bauer saving the world or the President or whatever Season 3 is about. 24 hours straight for Jack; 24 hours straight for me.

Some have asked what about food? Will you have people bringing it in to you? What about the bathroom? I've thought about these things. I considered ordering pizza and having it delivered. I thought about eating whatever cold canned vegetables were in the pantry when hunger struck. I even contemplated hooking up an IV and pumping fluids in my body so I don't get dehydrated. But that's cheating. I'll eat when Jack Bauer eats. I'll sleep when Jack Bauer sleeps. I'll pee when Jack Bauer pees. I never see him eat on the show. 24 hours comes and goes and he neither eats nor sleeps nor pees. The only sleep comes when he passes out from torture. Or codes. I'll eat and sleep and pee when he does. Besides, if I'm not eating or drinking, why would I need to pee? My blood, sweat, and tears should handle my bodily fluids for this day.

Some of you think I won't make it. You think I might die first. With all the twists and turns, sleep deprivation, starvation, and dehydration, you feel my heart will give out. My head explode. Or I'll crack. Either give up, or burst into fits of uncontrollable emotion. Tears and rage. Psycho-babble and gibberish. Well I sit here to tell you I've mapped this out. I've trained for this. I've dreamt of this. I was born for this. This is who I am. I'm a spy. (I neither confirm nor deny any involvement with a covert agency.) Hear ye this: as surely as the people at CTU and the White House and Joint Chiefs last 24 straight hours under such intense, heart-stopping suspense, so too will I. You can chalk it up to previous experience (not an admission of covert activity) or count it as practice (not an admission of recent recruitment into a covert agency). I've never cracked under torture before, and I'm not going to crack now. I will do this. It will be a success.

And Season 4 beware.

I'm coming for you.

6 comments:

Matt said...

Those that are close to me know that I only have one hero, and that is Jack Bauer. Some say Chuck Norris is where it's at. I say Chuck Norris is the illegitimate child of Jack Bauer. There is no comparison. But let me say this...If you succeed in this massive undertaking, let's just say Jack's got some competition on my hero list. I still say you should document it like David Blane.

Anonymous said...

isnt the DVD shorter than 24 hours b/c it cuts out all the commercials?

Matt said...

Don't let negative talk like this bring you down..you are a role model and don't forget it

trace said...

i am with matt on this one...

and to verify that: zczkv

p.s. i am cheering you on... literally, in my head, i am shouting, "hey, go, brent! go, go, brent." AND that sounds better than it is easy to type...that's a LOT of commas...

Matt said...

I only wish I had used my retirement for worthy causes such as this...i would see the outside world at roughly 2 pm everyday and go to bed feeling like my life was missing some kind of purpose...and i think you've found that purpose...but to my credit, i had already watched all 4 seasons and have been abstinent for a year...committed to the cause...arduously waiting for this December 5th to finally coming around, free from any information on season 5 (save one time, thanks Catherine), fleeing conversations that seemed on their way to informing me of things i shouldn't know yet, in a fit of skipping away with my arms flailing in the air screaming like a little school girl if it ever came to that..and believe me, on more than one occasion, it did...but even still..i could have used my time for helping people like you...i could have watched a Lord of the Rings Extended Edition marathon in one sitting, or a Neverending Story marathon, a Roots marathon, or how about a Land Before Time marathon, and let's not forget about the orphans out there...and speaking of Littlefoot, why after 15 Land Before Time movies, Littlefoot is still named Littlefoot?..shouldn't he at least maybe be Littlebiggerfoot or something?...but i digress, i just wished i wouldn't have wasted my time while i had so much of it...and that's why we commend you Brent..you're not wasting it..some may call it that, but i call it grabbing life by the _____ and calling it Nancy.

Taylor said...

man the retired life sounds like a blast...i should skip college and just go right into retirement so i can sit around and watch full seasons of shows.